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All this spirals out. All my pain, my fears, my angst, my tears. It starts of so small then engulfs my soul. It leaves a translucent cloud of doubt. Still so confused and still can't find that path. The right path. The pre-chosen path? Nay, kismet is something that fools believe and the faithful follow. I am an outsider on this plain of existence. I have no place, that I can seem to find. Everything that I have lost. Thoughts that fill my mind are always so dark and uneven. But each day that I spend, each walk I walk alone, something is gained. Some tiny morsel for inane saneness. I seem to be growing. To what end I still do not know. But, as I heard it once said, your eyes must shed some rain if you are ever going to grow. And growing up is what it is all about. I think. I need not the love of others at this point. That would be trite, and cheap, and only temporary. I need something, something that I can find on my own, to fill this void, this scar in my soul that you burdened me with when you left……